The Scientist
by KaruKageXP
Summary: A songfic for Sherlock/John. Song is "The Scientist" by Coldplay. POST-REICHENBACH


Based on the video by PixieTeardrops89

The Scientist

_Come up to meet you_

_Tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

I was standing on top of St. Barts. I had my phone and I dialed John's number. I knew it by heart.

"I'm a fake, John. Nobody could be that clever"*

"You could."

'John. You are the best friend anyone could ever have. I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do.'

"Goodbye John."

"Sherlock. No. Sto-" I end the call before I change my mind. I would refuse to try and save my own skin to risk my friends' lives. I smile only slightly. 'Sentiment. Seems I'm not as alike to Moriarty as I thought.'

I throw my phone aside and raise my arms as if to fly. I fall. I hear John scream my name and I give a little sob. I flail as an acting trick. I fall into the truck at the same time that one of Mycroft's men throws a body out of the truck and I hoped that John had been hit by the bicycle at the right time.

"John." I whispered like a mantra. He won't know for a while but, I whisper it anyway, "I love you." Mycroft's man won't say anything. Mycroft already knows I'm sure.

_I had to find you_

_Tell you I need you_

_Tell you I've set you apart_

_Tell me your secrets_

_Ask me your questions_

_Now lets go back to the start_

While I was riding in the truck to Mycroft's secret home I sat on the mattress in the truck only barely restraining myself from finding John and telling him that I need him to function. He's different from everyone else I've met.

I want to know everything about him. I want to deduce him everyday. I want him to ask me how I do it and compliment me. I want to go back and redo everything just to make sure that I would stay with John.

_Running in circles _

_Chasing our tails_

_It's only silence apart_

I think back to all of our chases and how we rarely spoke during them. We could have said so much more.

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Take me back to the start_

The car stops and I climb out of it effortlessly. Mycroft is waiting for me at the entrance to his home.

"Mycroft."

"Sherlock." He saw how distressed faking my own death was. He dismissed everyone and took me into his library.

"Nobody said it was going to be easy, Sherlock."

"I know. But, we work well together. He actually stands me and helps me and he's my best friend."

"Nobody said it was going to be easy." He repeated.

"No one said it was going to be hard, either." I said looking at him. "Why is it hard? Why have I suddenly gotten sentimental over him?"

I wanted to ask him to take me back to John. To rewind time and make it better. But, even the British government couldn't solve this problem. Only Sherlock Holmes could.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart_

_Questions of science_

_Science and progress_

_Did not speak as loud as my heart_

I was only solving the puzzles presented to me. I never thought that my love of the chase would ever become my downfall. Moriarty was able to turn it against me in every way.

But, not even my love of science could explain to me the feelings I was feeling. I knew about all of the chemicals in my brain that give me this feeling. But, I do not know why.

I don't know how to describe it. For the first time, Sherlock Holmes was out of words.

_Tell me you love me_

_Come back and haunt me_

_Oh I rush to the start_

In my dreams, he's there. Doctor John Watson. Recently invalided from Afghanistan, loves to read and drink tea and chase criminals, John Watson. I want to hear him say he loves me. But, he never speaks. Only smiles as if to tell me he's saving it for when I get back. Those dreams give me motivation to keep moving.

I need to destroy Moriarty and his 'gang' so that I can go back to how it was: with John.

_Running in circles_

_Chasing our tails_

_Coming back as we are_

I keep running. I don't stop until I'm done. But, when I finish a particularly hard case, I take a break and go back to see John. I go to my graveyard because Mycroft told me he goes there every Tuesday without fail. Why Tuesday? I have no idea. Either something to do with getting off work early or sentiment.

I see and hear him but he never sees me.

"You were the best man and the most human… human being and no one will ever convince me you told a lie."*

I have to cover my mouth to stop the sobbing noise coming from me. He is still there and I hoped he would accept me back. I might actually die if he doesn't.

"One more thing, Sherlock. One more thing, one more miracle just for me."

'Anything, John.'

"Don't. Be… Dead." I smiled softly.

'I'm not. And I will return, John. Patience, please.'

_Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start_

No one ever told me that leaving my best friend would be the hardest thing and the hardest puzzle in the world: one that I may never be able to solve.

No one told me I would realize how much I cared for John. But, now, it's over and I'm going back to John. I don't know how he will react. Maybe he will think I'm a ghost or a mirage or hallucination or maybe he will punch me. Maybe he will kiss or hug me or maybe he'll faint. Whatever happens, I hope that he will be able to forgive me and that we can go back to the start and be how we were.

"I'm back, John."


End file.
